Hey you,
Have you ever read something in a book that you wish you could never ever forget, something so wise that it touches the depth of your being, something that you wish you could remember for the rest of your life? Well, that’s what happened to me again this morning and I want to share it with you. It’s from a book recommended to me and is called Crossing to Avalon by Jean Shinoda Bolen, MD. This is what rocked my world:
I am convinced of the importance of having a significant person bear witness to our lives. I often think that this is what I do as a psychiatrist. Patients share with me those moments and relationships that truly matter. I know of the courage and sacrifices, of the guilt and shame that couldn’t be forgiven or faced until whatever it was could be told.
We all share a need to be totally honest, to be able to speak to another human being who accepts us as we are and believes in us, about what we have done and what was done to us, about what we hope for, think about, fear and feel. All too often, unfortunately, we hold back the full truth because expectations and assumptions about what we should feel or think and how we should act get in the way. It is no small matter to be a witness to another person’s life story.
By listening with compassion, we validate each other’s lives, make suffering meaningful and help the process of forgiving and healing to take place. Any significant, soul-shaping event becomes more integrated into our consciousness and more universal when we can express the essence of the experience and have it received in depth by another. I am convinced that any human being who can serve as witness for another at a soul level heals the separateness and isolation that we might otherwise feel.
Nowhere in life can this openly bearing witness to a loved one be more profound and significant than in the dying process, at the end of this life.
A few years ago, at the Good Life Good Death conference in Brisbane, I had the pleasure of meeting the now very well-known Death Walker, Zenith Virago. Zenith is a co-author of the fabulous book, The Intimacy of Death and Dying.
In a TED X talk Zenith reveals her intimate experiences as a death walker. Her message is heartfelt and powerful. I’ve already watched the video twice and will probably watch it a third time. It’s only eleven minutes long and it’s eleven minutes you won’t forget.
Life is fleeting and impermanent. Nothing we don’t already know, and yet when we live with an intense moment-by-moment awareness of this fact, a heartfelt radical gratitude for this precious life, our relationship with ourselves and with others is transformed.
I wish you courage and gratitude as you live out the rest of this precious day. Carpe Diem.
Best wishes,
Jen
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