Today having breakfast at a local café I was watching a mother with her 3 year old daughter sitting nearby. It made me think about my current 56 year old form and all the different aspects I have taken in this life and the myriad of experiences I have had since my birth till now. My mum has always been there for me– concerned, mostly helpful and rarely critical. We love our mothers for having watched us and supported us through so many experiences over a lifetime with other people coming and going through the times.
But what about our own children who may now be adults? Now I’m playing my mum’s role. How do we let our adult kids know the love we feel for them? Do we give them their space and wait for them to contact us? Do we invite them around for dinner and, if so, how often? Do they come with their partners or alone? Do we arrange to get together for a game of tennis or a bushwalk?
Having had my eldest son of 26 move out of home with his partner of 7 years, I’m new to all this and I find thoughts of the above spinning around in my head. I’m acutely aware that I don’t want to blow it. I want him to know that he’s loved and reach out but at the same time I don’t want to be clingy, needy or annoying. Perhaps it will all take care of itself and we’ll find some common ground. In the meantime, I’ve organized a game of tennis and then lunch at a local burger place. Happy to say it was received well. So far so good – but I’ve only been doing it for less than 30 days. Any tips from other mothers who are treading the same road, greatly received.